Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Rainy Day = Deep Thoughts

sitting, listening to the thunder roar over the cleansing down pour
light flashing through breaks of cover
the flicker of fire from surrounding candles
life altering thoughts drifting through sound waves of music accompanying the storm
picture less walls revealing nothing
a calm serenity but eagerness in heart
confusion enters in
dreams seem to be lost
butterfly ideas have fluttered away
the voice is gone
muteness settles in
searching through every possible break and crevice
nothing is found
wind picks up, blowing scattered writings over the room
one single thought
give up? or try and continue to fail?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

A Saddened Heart

You know those times where in your heart you know you have to tell someone you love and care for something that you know just isn't going to go well? In your mind you know that they won't take it right away, but your heart keeps tugging and pulling so you know it must be said even though the consequences might be difficult to bear.
Through certain circumstances I am now in this particular predicament. One I love, I have spoken to, and their were not happy to hear it and have now shut me out.
I know that what I said must have been said, but what if I did not say it in the way it should have been stated? What if I am really in the wrong?
My heart is very saddened, and heavy burdened with the thought that this friendship could be over. It was more than a friendship too. I felt as though this person was a sibling, a younger person that I could help. Not that they needed help, but that I could be a confidant, a older sister, no matter what just be there to show affection and support.
I know a few people other than myself feel the same way with their younger friends as well, and I do have some other lovely girls that I do refer to as my sisters (though not blood, they are very sweet girls). But as Jesus said He went back for the one sheep. How can I reach the one I feel that I lost? And was it my fault? I want to reach, but I don't know if it was my fault or not. Should I have just kept my mouth shut and let things be? Wouldn't it have been worse if I never said anything?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Rosa's Chevron


Today has been a great day! Well at least so far that is :)
I went on a walk with a friend of mine down to the gas station, just for some cheap snacks and because we felt like going on a walk during our two and half hour break before small groups. We went along just talking, and enjoying the warm weather. Walking into the Chevron we looked and got what our hearts desired and our wallets could afford, and went to the register. As I was checking out, the lady behind the counter handed me this beautiful rose and said, "For you." As I uttered a thank you, as I was in shock, I realized how rare that people are just genuinely nice and social. Even though the chances of me seeing this lady again are rare, I just wanted to take the time and tell everyone about my little experience today.
How great is it then when we haven't been having a good week, God will use people and just the little things to make us smile again :)