Dreams or possible reality?

I wish the thoughts flying around in my head would either become reality or escape into the abyss to never resurface. It is possible that I'm the only one that feels this way, but it is still in my heart and mind. So what do I do about it? I am working towards one day hopefully fulfilling my dreams and aspirations, but at this point right now, I feel like it is impossible. Its like I am sitting in the practice rooms, just practicing for hours upon hours, trapped in that room. Wanting and waiting to be "decent" enough to one day actually play. Not just to play but to really play, fully with emotion and life play the story. Be apart of the show. In the stone cold walls of this room I feel that I am staying still, like life outside that door has kept time and I am off beat. Like I will never get out of the practice room, that I'm in an ulterior world. Maybe right now I am just on the wrong song, maybe my song isn't up until a few more tracks are done. What if it isn't the case though? What if I am not even close? What if I'm not even on the record? Does that mean that I should just go back to the practice room? Or should I just put down the instrument, the pen, close my mouth with lips tight shut and walk away? Would that be escaping into the abyss? Or just silencing my heart? Would that be better? Than to just keep trying to attain the dreams and aspirations that seem so impossible, so that the even slight possibility of playing will never again return? I wish the thoughts flying around in this empty cavity once filled with an organ, would make some kind of regular activity to create a breeze that would push dreams and aspirations into reality, for just working for them alone does not seem to create a melody.

Darfur

Lately it has been brought to my attention that many people do not know about the genocide going on in Darfur. How is that? It is just like the Holocaust or Rwanda. People hear but they do not want to believe. So what do they do? Nothing. They live their normal day to day lives. Forgetting that their brothers and sisters are across the globe getting killed, burned, raped, and tortured. In this present day how can we just stand by? Why will the UN not go into Sudan? Why is it so hard to get it to stop, when they so easily started? I fear that the most important question I ask myself as I ponder this in all of its darkness, is why is God allowing this to happen? I can't answer this question. I don't understand, and even if God enlightened me, I would not be able to comprehend. Such a horrible thing is happening. The news won't fully cover it. So many people don't know. So many won't believe the images and stories they see and hear. What is going on in our world? Where is the compassion? Where is our hearts? Why does it seem we can't do anything? I pray for answers. I pray for a way to help. Why is it that there is so much wrong with our world, but when it doesn't affect people directly they think about how good they have it, and then forget about the trouble going on? What is going on? I don't understand. God give me enlightening on what to do......